The Psychology of a Claptrap/Transcript
Handsome Jack: Woahwoahwoah, where's this, uh... Override Key, thing? Claptrap's Consciousness: It's in the, uh... the... oh, I know it, I know it! In the... uh... 5H4D0W-TP: In Memory Bank 4, Cluster 99002 OV3RLOOK. Claptrap's Consciousness: Was about to say that! Oh uh, that old place? There won't be anything there, I guarantee it. Handsome Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah, zip it -- my gut says scary prison dude here's telling the truth. Plus, he's... not you. 5H4D0W-TP: First, you'll need to reach the relevant data stream point I've marked on your ECHO. *'Athena (if present):' He sounds like the voice in the projections. That was him, right? In the Fyrestone memory? *'Wilhelm (if present):' Was that the same voice from the Fyrestone memory cluster? *'Nisha (if present):' Sounded mighty like the voice in the Fyrestone projections, don'tcha think? *'Claptrap (if present):' Heyyy! Is this the voice we heard mixed in with those Fyrestone projections? *'Jack2 (if present):' Is that that guy who voiced those projections in that memory with the bridge pieces? *'Aurelia (if present):' Wasn't his the voice I heard in the projections on our Fyrestone jaunt? 5H4D0W-TP: Guilty as charged. I am a helpful soul... and now our interests align. I can aid you. I can project the forms of others, but can't leave my cell. Handsome Jack: Sure. You get out, and I get my H-Source -- and all the cool stuff inside. It's a win-win! (Travel to Motherlessboard) Handsome Jack: Okay, get the Override Key so we can open up Quarantine and get the H-Source. Then I can crack it open and take whatever I want. I should really keep this a surprise, but I already know the very first thing I'm gonna do when I open it. Wait till you see the look on stupid little Claptrap's face... boy is that eye of his going to blink like crazy! Oh -- hurry it up! Claptrap's Consciousness: Guys?! There's nothing in there! It's really not worth going to that place! (Reach data stream) Claptrap's Consciousness: Aww, shoot! I just realized, the datastream you need is totally broken -- looks like this plan's a bust! 5H4D0W-TP: Oh, really? Analyzing. I already have a solution. Get to the stream's power generator, Vault Hunter -- it will let you re-calibrate it. Updating your ECHO. Handsome Jack: Works for me! (Reach access hatch) 5H4D0W-TP: Open that access port. It leads to the checkpoint's exterior, and from there, to the power regulator. Claptrap's Consciousness: This seems like a lot of trouble to get to one totally unimportant memory cluster! (Reach power generator) Claptrap's Consciousness: Yikes! An Authority Wall! No way past these bad-boys -- looks like it's back to the ol' drawing board! 5H4D0W-TP: So quick to surrender, eh, Claptrap? Authority Walls are strong, but all defenses have a weakness. All viruses love to feed off the energy of these barriers. All that keeps them at bay is the local anti-virus system. Stomp the system's resistors, and those rapacious, swarming vermin will devour that Authority Wall in moments. Claptrap's Consciousness: Releasing viruses... that's such a cool idea! (Disable first node) 5H4D0W-TP: That's it! Stomp the second resistor! (Disable second node) 5H4D0W-TP: Here they come! You must WOUND them, Vault Hunter! WOUND them and lure them to the wall. 5H4D0W-TP: That's it! Wound them! Force them to hunger for the wall's energy! (First virus feeds) 5H4D0W-TP: See how they feed on the wall? Excellent! (Second virus feeds) 5H4D0W-TP: Just a few more -- the wall cannot withstand much more! (Wall depleted) 5H4D0W-TP: The wall is depleted. Now throw the re-calibration switch, and the data stream will be fully functional once more. Claptrap's Consciousness: Yaaay. (Use console) Handsome Jack: Phew! What'd I miss? Lightning HR meeting there -- had to let a LOTTA people go. Outta airlocks mostly. Oh-ho-ho, nice! Alright, haul ass to the Recall Station and we can load the right cluster and get us an Override Key! (Enter Cluster 99002 OV3RLOOK) Handsome Jack: Alright, looks like the same deal -- wade through some weird stuff until we load the right memory. (Use console) Handsome Jack: Bingo! First time! The crappy little hovel of Overlook -- ohhhh wait, this is where Blake held that Vault Hunter competition for me. Yeah, that was a frickin' disaster -- no wonder the memory's listed as suppressed. Alright, go get that Override Key. 5H4D0W-TP: The Override Key emits a signal. I'm uploading its location to your ECHO. 5H4D0W-TP: The people of Overlook will view you as Claptrap. Claptrap's Consciousness: This was where I lived after Jack kicked me out. He said my VaultHunter.EXE was a total failure. (Enter Overlook) *'Athena (if present):' This place feels off. *'Wilhelm (if present):' These people are nuts. *'Nisha (if present):' Something's up. *'Claptrap (if present):' Oh, boy! These guys LOVE me! *'Jack2 (if present):' Yeah, something is, uh... seriously wrong here. *'Aurelia (if present):' This place is doolally tap! (Approach Arena) VH Factor Door Lady: Sold out! No VH Factor tickets left! The arena is full! Go away! It's already started! Go waitch it on Pay-Per-Glimpse! (Reach Override Key) Handsome Jack: Oh, that's just... fantastic. The Override Key's stuck inside -- oh, wait... what the hell's that? 5H4D0W-TP: Analyzing. 5H4D0W-TP: Interesting. The Key is lodged in a frozen memory. To release it, you must defrag the cluster and, where blocked, relive moments leading up to this epic duel. Handsome Jack: Okay -- sooo, we cut through all the BS cluttering up the place to get the Override Key. Like where this is going! Claptrap's Consciousness: Okay, okayokayokayokay, look -- we're all friends here. Let's just leave things right where they are and go somewhere else. Oooh, let's go to a beach! 5H4D0W-TP: First, destroy the banners. They are false. Reveal the true nature of the celebrations. (Destroy first banner) Handsome Jack: Fantastic! Glitches! Claptrap's Consciousness: SORRY! (Destroy fourth banner) Claptrap's Consciousness: Uh, so, uh... this is my heartfelt plea. Please, can you leave now? *'Athena (if present):' I'm doing this for Springs. We need the money. *'Wilhelm (if present):' Ha! I work for Jack, not you. *'Nisha (if present):' I work for Jack. And I ALWAYS mix business with pleasure. *'Claptrap (if present):' I've kinda got a conflict of interest here, 'cause I'm programmed to obey Jack! *'Jack2 (if present):' Oh, sure, yeah -- No. I work for Jack. *'Aurelia (if present):' A heartfelt plea indeed, and one it thrills me to ignore. I work for Jack. *'Handsome Jack (to everyone except Athena):' I'm sorry, I don't know who that is! I know who HANDSOME Jack is, though! (Destroy last banner) Handsome Jack: Okay, so, now what? 5H4D0W-TP: With the false memories removed, the system should now reinitialize itself. Hyperion: Memory reconfiguration detected. Rebooting. 5H4D0W-TP: This will hurt. *'Athena (if present):' Ahhh! *'Wilhelm (if present):' Ahhh! *'Nisha (if present):' Ahhh! Hahaha! *'Claptrap (if present):' Ahhh! *'Jack2 (if present):' Ahhh-ha-ha-ha-hooowch! *'Aurelia (if present):' Ahhh! Claptrap's Consciousness: Ohhhh! I remember this! Okay, so today I just came to help Dave with the tournament's half-time entertainment! And by the way, I remember that everything went SUPER SMOOTHLY, so uh, let's hit that beach I mentioned before! 5H4D0W-TP: So go see Dave. He will view you as Claptrap, and ask you to perform a task. Let us enact the memory, and witness the carnage inadvertently loosed by this unit. Claptrap's Consciousness: Aww, PLEASE don't go see Dave! (Reenter Overlook) Claptrap's Consciousness: Figures -- I try to escape Vault Hunting and end up in a town with a tournament to become one! 5H4D0W-TP: This unit's "Insecurity Forces" are working to ensure the truth remains obscured here. (Talk to Dave) Dave: Heyyyy, Claptrap! Here to help put out the fireworks for the half-time show? Good. They're out at Gubbins Shack, in the green box. I'll update your ECHO with the location -- I've gotta conversate with Karima about catering, heh! Prob'ly about sandwiches, or something fancy. Oh -- and don't take the red ones, unless you wanna blow the lid off this place! (On way to Gubbins Shack) 5H4D0W-TP: Be warned. This unit has unwittingly created a denial subroutine to overwrite events in a childish attempt to obscure the truth -- even from itself. (Approach shack) Denial Subroutine: No, no, no! Handsome Jack: I dunno what THAT is, but tentacles are never a good sign! 5H4D0W-TP: The memory's denial subroutine is trying to stop us. Slam the shack back into place. That should clear the path inside and further correct this memory. Claptrap's Consciousness: I've never seen those tentacles before in my life! (Slam shack) Denial Subroutine: NOOOOOO! (Attempt to pick up fireworks) *'Athena (if present):' Something's wrong. I can't pick it up. *'Wilhelm (if present):' Uh, what the hell? Dumb box is broken. *'Nisha (if present):' Huh. I can't pick this up. *'Claptrap (if present):' My pick-things-up subroutine seems to be malfunctioning. *'Jack2 (if present):' This stupid box doesn't want to be picked up! *'Aurelia (if present):' What the blazes? Why can't I pick this infernal thing up? 5H4D0W-TP: Because this unit didn't take the fireworks. (Pick up explosives) Claptrap's Consciousness: So -- just to explain -- I used the explosives instead 'cause I thought they'd have waaaay bigger explosions! And they did! 5H4D0W-TP: Take the "fireworks" and position them in the locations I've marked on your ECHO. Handsome Jack: Yeah. Reconstruct it. Do what that idiot did. Claptrap's Consciousness: Seriously? I'm right here! *'Athena (if present):' You do appear to have been rather foolish, though. *'Wilhelm (if present):' Like I care. *'Nisha (if present):' He's right. You're a total idiot! *'Claptrap (if present):' I am losing patience with me. *'Jack2 (if present):' Can't argue with the man -- you are DEFINITELY an idiot! *'Aurelia (if present):' In fairness, your imbecility seems utterly irrefutable. (Returning to Overlook) (One of:) Hyperion: Attention, system components: if we concentrate hard enough, maybe we can render all intruders figments of our imagination. Hyperion: Alert! System compromised! Hyperion: Alert. Unrecognized data in the system. Hyperion: The system has been inflitrated. All protocols activate murder, mayhem, and manslaughter subroutines. Hyperion: Attention, all intruders: please prepare for extermination. Thank you for your cooperation. Hyperion: All foreign entities are requested to kill themselves at this time. Thank you for your compliance. Hyperion: Warning! System integrity has been compromised. Even more than normal! (Re-enter Overlook) 5H4D0W-TP: Someone's getting desperate... pulling in memories from another cluster to stop us from getting what we're here for. Claptrap's Consciousness: Yeah! What a jerk! (Place "fireworks") Mr. Blake: Overlook -- and subscribers of PayPerGlimpse TV -- what a great VH Factor this has been so far! For the half-time show, we have Pandora's biggest band, The Totally Doomed... so, are you ready?! Readiness is sponsored by Hyperion. Torgue: WHAT THE F**K IS THIS? I PAID FOR MONSTER BUGGY LINGERIE WARS -- NOT SOME SISSY VH FACTOR CRAP! Mr. Blake: Then I give you... The Totally Doomed! -- Fireworks, now! Claptrap's Consciousness: It was SO cool! They let me push the button for the half-time show's fireworks -- for when the band came on! (Stalling) Mr. Blake: I said: then I give you, The Totally Doomed! -- Where are those blasted fireworks? (Start "fireworks") Sid Nasty: Hey, everyone! We're the Totally Doo-- woah, ahhh, AAAAAAGGGHH! Claptrap's Consciousness: So what I learned was: explosives REALLY are not the same as fireworks. Mr. Blake: Uh... can we get a medic? The arena seems to have... fallen off the cliff. With all the competitors in it. And the band. And the audience. Torgue: I WAS TOTALLY WRONG! THAT HALF-TIME SHOW WAS AN AWESOME WORK OF EXPLOSIVE GENIUS! 5H4D0W-TP: Once again, this event should result in the memories reconfiguring. Hyperion: Memory reconfiguration detected. Rebooting. 5H4D0W-TP: This will definitely hurt. *'Athena (if present):' Ahhh! *'Wilhelm (if present):' Ahhh! *'Nisha (if present):' Ahhh! *'Claptrap (if present):' Ahhh! *'Jack2 (if present):' Ahhhhhhhowowow! *'Aurelia (if present):' Ahhh! 5H4D0W-TP: We're close now. One more memory to enact. Claptrap's Consciousness: Uhhhh, there's REALLY nothing else here to see... 5H4D0W-TP: Embrace the truth, my friend. It is the only way you will grow. Vault Hunter, speak with the townswoman known as Karima. (Talk to Karima) Karima: After the "fireworks" everything's a m-mess, but we salvaged some medical supplies and m-made the church the triage center -- the c-competitors are recovering there. Could you run this m-medicine over to my husband? I know you didn't m-mean to hurt the competitors last night. Maybe you could show them your heart's in the right p-p-place, even if your brain is n-not. Claptrap's Consciousness: Wow -- I smashed Overlook up pretty bad, didn't I? 5H4D0W-TP: You accrue the scorn and hatred of others with every instruction cycle of your CPU. Do not shy from it, SEE it! It is your truth! Claptrap's Consciousness: Not EVERY cycle! I bet there's a lot of indifference in there too! *'Athena (if present):' I want to think you're right about that... *'Wilhelm (if present):' Nah -- it's hate. *'Nisha (if present):' Less than you think. *'Claptrap (if present):' Yeah! I mean, even I'M indifferent to you for a start! *'Jack2 (if present):' Y'know, uh -- No, I hate you. It's definitely hatred. *'Aurelia (if present):' Oh, no, darling -- it really is abject hatred. (Cross gap towards church) (One of:) Hyperion: Attention, system components: if we concentrate hard enough, maybe we can render all intruders figments of our imagination. Hyperion: Alert! System compromised! Hyperion: Alert. Unrecognized data in the system. Hyperion: The system has been inflitrated. All protocols activate murder, mayhem, and manslaughter subroutines. Hyperion: Attention, all intruders: please prepare for extermination. Thank you for your cooperation. Hyperion: All foreign entities are requested to kill themselves at this time. Thank you for your compliance. Hyperion: Warning! System integrity has been compromised. Even more than normal! (Talk to Danny) Danny: Claptrap?! Just put the supplies down on the cart inside -- before you screw up anything else! *'Athena (if present):' He -- I mean, I -- didn't mean to hurt those people. *'Wilhelm (if present):' Yup, I'm Claptrap and I'm a total idiot! HAH! *'Nisha (if present):' Yeah, I totally murderized all those helpless people! *'Claptrap (if present):' I-I really DIDN'T mean it! *'Jack2 (if present):' Wow, get this guy! All judgy 'n' stuff. *'Aurelia (if present):' Oh, how wonderful, darling -- you really think I'm him! (Talk to medic) Female Medic: How can you show that hideous face?! Is it even a face?! Male Medic: I've got NOTHING to say t... no, you know what? Why am I even talking to you? (Place medecine) *'Athena (if present):' What the... *'Wilhelm (if present):' HA! *'Nisha (if present):' Classic! *'Claptrap (if present):' Oh no! *'Jack2 (if present):' Think I'm hungry for... I wanna say pasta. *'Aurelia (if present):' Calamity! Torgue: THAT CLAPTRAP UNIT'S EITHER AS DUMB AS A SKAG, OR A HOT-DOGGIN' INCENDIARY GENIUS! EITHER WAY, HE'S WORTH THE RIDICULOUSLY OVERPRICED SUBSCRIPTION! Hyperion: Memory reconfiguration detected. Rebooting. *'Athena (if present):' Ahhh! *'Wilhelm (if present):' Ahhh! *'Nisha (if present):' Ahhh! *'Claptrap (if present):' Ahhhhhhh! *'Jack2 (if present):' Owwwwwwowowowow! OWW! *'Aurelia (if present):' Ahhh! 5H4D0W-TP: So this resulted in the death of all other competitors. Apart from Donk, the latecomer. Claptrap's Consciousness: Okay, so I accidentally burned down the church. But which one of us here can say we HAVEN'T? *'Athena (if present):' Me! ... Not counting that time. *'Wilhelm (if present):' Me? *'Nisha (if present):' Eh, fair enough. *'Claptrap (if present):' This is confusing for me. I think the right answer is... not me. *'Jack2 (if present):' Yeah, hear you on that one. *'Aurelia (if present):' Never by accident! Mr. Blake: The tournament decider, the fight for the fourth Vault Hunter berth... it's, ah... a latecomer... and a stand-in. Torgue: THIS IS THE MISMATCH OF THE DAMN CENTURY! I'M ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT! I SHOULDA GOT DRESSED O.T.B.T.W.! (Approach Override Key) (Cutscene) Mr. Blake: It's Donk... versus Claptrap! (Title Card: Donk from the moon vs CL4P-TP the Fragtrap) -- STAND-IN -- LATE) (Claptrap activates his rubber ducky and donk bounces backwards into the grinder. A large CENSORED sign appears over the carnage) Donk: Blergh! Handsome Jack: There it is! The Override Key! (The key is snatched by a tentacle from the ground. A huge digital thresher bursts out.) (Title Card: Denial Subroutine -- (No it's not)) (End Cutscene) 5H4D0W-TP: There. The memory's denial subroutine is forced into the open! Denial Subroutine: No. I'm. NOT! Handsome Jack: What the hell?! Get after it! Torgue: L.M.A.O.! THAT WAS TOTALLY AWESOME! GIVES ME AN IDEA! I'LL HAVE MY OWN, EVEN BADASSERER COMPETITION! W.E.G.! LATER! (During battle with Denial Subroutine) Denial Subroutine: I didn't kill those people! Denial Subroutine: I've never had a problem being picked for teams! Denial Subroutine: No! I don't just deny everything! Denial Subroutine: I've never denied anything! (Deplete Denial Subroutine's shield) *'Athena (if present):' Give me the Key! *'Wilhelm (if present):' Key! Give! *'Nisha (if present):' Gimme the Key! *'Claptrap (if present):' I REALLY need that Key! *'Jack2 (if present):' Oh, just gimme the goddamn Key already! *'Aurelia (if present):' The Key, if you'd be so kind. Denial Subroutine: No! (Defeat Denial Subroutine) Denial Subroutine: I'M NOT DYIIIIIIING! (Pick up Override Key) Claptrap's Consciousness: The truth about Overlook is... maybe I wasn't as loved as I thought. Handsome Jack: Yeah, WHATEVER! You've got the Override Key! Get back to Quarantine, let's open it up! Go Team Us! Me mostly. But also you. A little. 5H4D0W-TP: Yes -- return to me. (Return to Overlook) Phil: You've ruined Overlook! Allison: You'd better get out of here! Sonia: I have to start cleaning up YOUR mess! Ruth: I lost everyone I loved because of you. Matt: You really screwed things up here. Drew: You... IDIOT. (Return to the Nexus) Handsome Jack: Use the Override Key and let's get what we came for! (Use Override Key) Hyperion: Override Key recognized. All restraints and locks: open. M4D-TP: Ahhhh -- feels goooooood! 5H4D0W-TP: Well done. M4D-TP: Pancake! PANCAAAAAKE! No pancake. No pancake. 5H4D0W-TP: I am 5H4D0W-TP! You know not what you have done! Come -- take the shiny! Category:Transcripts